Parents & Children: Understanding the relationship after marriage.

As parents we expect a lot from our children. As children we are expected to give back the love & support we were given as a child. Most times we want to do it anyway because we love them so much. Most times, we do put our parents first. Give them the honor & respect for the things they have done for us. Most people don’t understand that some things change once you’re married

Understanding the role

It is important to know that your child is God’s child. Your child will eventually grow up and move out. When someone marries, they have become one before God. They have vowed to forsake others. Most parents, who are not or have never been married, don’t understand that concept. They think I am Mom or I am Dad. There should be no other person above me, except God. You as a parent need to understand that you will always be their parent. No one can take that from you and when your child marries, that person is not taking your place. But that person has become a priority in their life. Obeying your spouse is the same thing as obeying your parents. God doesn’t see it any other way. If you have vowed to love this person, support, honor and respect this person, doing otherwise will be wrong in God’s eyes. You have to understand the importance of the commitment between husband & wife.

Turn in your bible to Ephesians 5:31-33. The bible says……

 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

There is much power in the vows we take. Understand there importance and respect your child’s marriage.

Giving Respect

Each spouse deserves respect. Meaning, allow your spouse to play their role. For instance, a husband is to be the man of the house. Give him that. Don’t allow another person to step on their toes. Don’t allow another person to come between your marriage. Many parents like to come between the spouses. Making decisions & persuading others of how things should be. It’s ok to get advice because marriage is hard and sometimes we don’t know what’s right but don’t let others make the decisions for you. Keep a strong bond with your spouse; keep the relationship sacred. Give each spouse the respect they deserve and respect the marriage.

Turn in your bible to Ephesians 5:22-24. The bible says…..

Wives submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Continue to keep the sacred bond to your spouse. Allowing them to do what God has intended.  Allow God’s word to lead your marriage and not others.

Continuing & Gaining a Relationship

Once you are married, you are gaining a new relationship. Even if you have dated for years, it becomes brand new when your married. You don’t want to forget about the others, your parents. It’s ok to do for them, support them and continue to have a wonderful relationship with your parents. Include them in your life and the wonderful new world you are living in. You just have to learn how to juggle the two. It is very hard. Especially if you have very demanding parents and a demanding spouse. Everyone needs you and everyone expects for you to do more for them. It gets overwhelming. But what you need to do is make sure that the other person understands your married now and understands that your parents will always be your parents. The relationship with your parents should grow at this time. Because you are now entering a world that most people have already been accustom to. But you want to continue to obey your parents. Praying they understand the importance of your marriage and still give your marriage, your relationship with your spouse room to grow and be what God has intended it to be.

Turn in your bible to Colossians 3:18-21. The bible says…..

Wives, submit to your husbands, as fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. 

Understand how to manage your two relationships without hurting either one. Understand what God expects from you in a child/parent relationship and a husband/wife relationship.

Building a good relationship.

When you have understood the importance of a marriage, understood your role, you are helping your relationship to grow with your child. They see that you are allowing them to live. You still care but you see that they are capable of taking care of themselves. You respect the person they have chosen to be with. In some way you let your child go but in parenting you hold on. This builds a wonderful, mature relationship.

Turn in your bible to Mark 10:5-9. The bible says…..

And Jesus answered and said to them, Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and  mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh, so then they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.

Know that you are gaining a wonderful relationship and continuing the relationship with your parents. Parents don’t over step your boundaries. Expect the best from your child and allow them to leave and do as God has intended.

When it’s all said and done, God is the ruler of all things. Don’t come between what God has created. Be the supportive parent. Also give respect to each relationship. Understand the importance the commitment in marriage.

God Bless, Dominique

New Year Challenge:

Become a better you in 2010. We all have trouble areas. Fears, addictions, past hurts. In 2010 let’s work on our trouble areas. Release the devil from the hold he has on certain areas in our life. I’ve created a challenge that helps anyone who wants a change in their life. Follow these easy steps:

1. Ask yourself what areas are you having trouble with in your life?

2. Write it down.

3. Ask yourself what triggers this area? Write it down.

4. Go to your bible and find a scripture that will give you guidance, strength, and courage over this area of your life. Write it down.

5. Lastly, make a commitment everyday to improve that area of your life.

http://divadominique.wordpress.com/take-the-challenge-i-dare-you/

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One thought on “Parents & Children: Understanding the relationship after marriage.

  1. That you so much for this post! Needed this understanding of parent and children roles. So much clearer now. God bless!

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